Untitled June 16, 1999 There is nothing at this moment That I wouldn't give To hear you say my name To hear the rythym of your laughter The rythym that beats my heart I'd give my all My breath, my life To hear your voice rise In passionate anger To hear excitement extend your sound The silly grin of yours matching mine You completed my life, my heart My everything Where am I supposed to be? This year passed like eternity Like the hideous dawn Following the perfect night Be it over, love But my heart shall never let go. Untitled April 19, 1999 I can't even cry For lack of anything inside The emptiness that overtakes The fear that closes my eyes I am for you There's nothing more This sorrow that I cling to Holds you in my heart How broken it is Jagged edges that make new wounds And it is all endless Take me with you Make me yours, as I am supposed to be The candle is burning out And as I lay here in the darkness Its your touch I long for, Your shoulder I miss, Your laughter I crave Be mine Where we both belong In love Untitled February 5, 1999 The loneliness neverending There's no light at the end of this tunnel. Yet I walk on in fearless fear Through this lonely pursuit of life. The life that lives in love The love that drives this life In these broken, choppy words Lies:truth. This warring peace, This loving hate, This hateful Love, These silent words, The spoken thoughts, The blissful sorrow, The smiling rage, The sobbing smiles; Are the demolished reconstruction. I'm moving forawrd Only to find the horizon Retreating in front of me. I miss you more In this violent calm Untitled March 24, 1998 There does not seem to be words But I am searching yet, Here is this beautiful love That I could never forget. My soul completed in you My heart holding so tight, To you my perfect angel You have taken out the fight. Have released me from the pain, The loneliness inside You have opened up my eyes And I can no longer hide. My heart is bared and given None more worthy than you, To receive this love in me That has never felt more true. You, who accepts it with love And shares it all with me, Its you who's opened my eyes And allowed me to see. Untitled February 5, 1998 Is there beauty beyond this love Is this life that I'm dreaming of The perfection I feel inside This smile that I can not hide It comes from my heart through my eyes And I feel it strengthen these ties Our souls are connected as one And your heart has no instinct to run. Your Love January 27, 1998 The lines are drawn and here I stand On each side an extended hand I look to you and see the train Do I jump to avoid the pain? Or take the hit and let you stay? Or steel my heart and run away? This is the choice that I must face To take your hand or bow out with grace Your beautiful love shines in my eyes But I am scared of the hard good byes The passion versus the warm embrace The blinding love or the safer place Is this passionate yearn the real thing? Can I return the love that you'll bring? Will you hold my hand and guide me through? Will this kind of love remain this true? Will you share my life and show me yours? Will your precious heart hold open doors? Will you respect my heart and my mind? For support will it be you I find? Will you love me like my heart requires? Will we be in synch in our desires? Will you make me yours without a doubt? WIll you ever let me live without Your love Only You January 1, 1998 If there were words you would hear them If I could touch you I would place your hand on my chest Let you feel my heart and know its beat Let you sense the love you stir in my Only you You bring me hope I have not known You give me peace that I have not felt You occupy my mind, my heart, my time And you are worth each passing breath What I wouldn't give to be with you To touch your hand, to watch your chest rise And fall with each passing breath To watch yur beautiful eyes take me in To see your cheeks lift with your smile To catch the tear that falls from your chin The love I would know with your thumb on my cheek Your breath on my ear, fingers brushing hair from My face To feel your gentle touch, your soft lips Beautiful you, my perfect you To hear your voice say my name To watch you sleep, touch your face I'd share it all with you I'd give you this precious love If you could really be this real Untitled October 19, 1997 You move in shadow Dancing through my heart Adoring eyes make me see But I cannot make you out The shroud of darkness covering You are hidden, protected No pain from risk When no risks are taken But fill you up and take you The beauty of your soul Shadowed by your fear Move forward, uncover your eyes Grasp the things thrown at you Take what you can from it Learn all you need Teach yourself your heart Come out from the shadow You need the light Experience the beauty Hold the memories and go Wherever you hide you will be found Stop the fight and free yourself Put it out for all to see And share it with me Untitled September 14, 1997 I'm trying to find the words to say how special you are to me, To let you know how lonely life without you would be. You have become a special friend and you're always in my heart, And I am determined not to let this distance keep us apart. I want you to know that I think about you every single day, I miss your voice and your smiling face that take away the grey. Its the simple ways that you are you that make you dear to me, And I miss you so much everyday because of what you've made me see. I have learned of life from you because you are willing to share, And I take comfort in the knowledge that you are always there. And I will always hold the memories of all the times we had, Because it will help to think of you when I am feeling sad. I love you because you let me see how bright your light can shine, And I hope that I have touched your heart as much as you've touched mine. So know that I will never forget the beautiful friend you are, Because that can overcome distances no matter how far. I love you with my entire heart because of who you are to me, And because I know that who you are is who you'll always be. Darkness Brings You July 27, 1997 In the shelter of the night I am free And through the process of elimination you are with me We absorb one another through the fire And we let the explosions take us higher The future exposed and I do not ache With this fire burning no heart will ever break. But the sun comes up and the fire turns to ash And I barely manage to wake before I crash There is no you, at least not here And I stare at the ash that brings my deepest fear I am alone and there is none to share I wonder why you're in my dreams and only there. Why you are incomplete in my conscious mind You rest in shadow, many pieces I cannot find You must be made of all those in my heart But I cannot decifer from whom you get which part The eyes of one and the strength of them all And with all their hearts in you, I know I shall never fall. Again it is night and I am sheltered in my dream And it is amazing to me how completely real you seem You make me your queen every night And there is nothing that has ever been more right The intensity of your love is all-encompassing And you give me everything you bring. In the morning I remember the perfection, And I am smothered by this dejection Why the darkness brings you I do not know But what I wouldn't give for the love that you show. Freedom January 20, 1997 If tomorrow comes too soon there is no time for today And the rains come and wash it all away. The clouds blow in and cover up the sky And the persuant darkness just makes me want to cry. The rainbow comes when the light finally breaks through And it seems that nothing could take away the blue. I want to feel it, to become one with the air To soar like a bird, all alone without a care. There would be nothing that could take me from that place Except for a glimpse of your enchanting face. But that would take me up higher than before And my blissful happiness would even up the score. If you could see me, my light could guide you here And we could live, together without fear. You could soar with me among the clouds And I could free your soul from it's shrouds. Don't you see how perfect it would be That together we could finally be free. Untitled January 14, 1997 I want this to stop, yet it must go on I develop these feelings, all of a sudden you're gone. I've decided to give you just one last chance, But it's up to you, it's all in your hands. I fear that you just don't care enough, To make it all up though it wouldn't be tough. You are my weakness, I could not take stand, And all I ask for is that you take my hand. And friendship is all that I want from you, Of course public admittance is required too. I realize you're private, and I'll never let you down, But I fear if I were sinking, you would let me drown. It wouldn't hurt you to admit I exist, Because if you don't it'll be me who you miss. I like who you are when your friends aren't around, But I just can't see that this friendship is sound. My heart needs you here, while my mind says let go, And I sit here struggling because I just don't know. My mind starts to win, then you show your face And instantly I'm right back in the same place. I simply wish that you would make up your mind So I could take you with me or leave you behind. I shared my feelings and you responded And stupid me, I thought we bonded. Apparently you didn't and you completely lost touch I guess I should realize you don't care that much. When I look at you here I suddenly see That maybe I'm wrong and you aren't worth me. I'm trying to fight it, but it seems I can't win, I can't get away because you're under my skin. You make me so angry that I cannot see, Yet when you are you, you have control over me. I'll never forget you no matter how I lie, But how I remember you is why you have to try. And this love that I feel will not go away, It will even withstand all the games that you play. My friendship will not withstand all these things, And we both will lose any pleasure it brings. As you can see you really make me feel, And whatever you think, my feelings are real. I only wish you felt half as much as I do, Because then there would be nothing that we couldn't get through. Untitled April 26, 1997 I liked the way my hand looked on your face The essence of my struggle Words are feelings but explain nothing I am not allowed in Whether you share or hold it all It is not covering The likelihood of anything Could not be more discreet I do not see the good is gone but yet Foward motion stops The world will not be taken down Forever loving soul I cannot spell your name in hate Red ink shapes well by you I love you used to be a mind Body was forgotten But purple candles burning high Will always kill the rotten So you are dead your heart if it was Remembered and put away I think I miss the strangest things So long. Untitled September 14, 1996 There are moments When I disconnect from all And there is nothing That can take me from this fall I haven't any To share from ever till now There isn't youth To teach my spirit how Tomorrow wakens This old body from its ache And there will be none To bear witness to the wake How perfectly staged That our hearts will never meet And all around me The agony of defeat No promises made And no one ever let down Through sorrows flooding You will never let me me drown Yet you call my name And I can never reach you And I hear your plight I want it all to be true So I reconnect To escape from this dillusion But you are not here I live with the confusion. Untitled Mar 14, 1995 I'm drowning in the memories of a life that didn't last I wanted to say good bye to her but she was gone too fast She's the best friend I ever had but now she's gone away If I could only talk to her I would beg her to stay She was my shelter from the rain She protected me from pain And I always knew that she was there for me. I'm floating down this river staring up at this sky Repeating the same old question Why did she have to die? I wonder if she saw me now Would she recognize me And have I become everything She wanted me to be? She was my shelter from the rain She protected me from pain And I always knew that she was there for me. Turbulence January 15, 1995 To fly must be to experience The most incredible rebirth The power of destiny, control Of all we know and more The desire is uncontrollable, frustration, anger, despair, so much curiosity, need. I need so much the liberty To control my own destiny, by height and speed, amazing The hope kept alive by the Possibility, soon Soon. The blue, the white The grey, so free, so much power. Steep turns, round Corners, small mountains, great Peaks, dead engines. Safe Emergency maneuvering. The hands of a pilot. The power of destiny.